Squatter with a Lexus by Tom Lichtenberg

Author:Tom Lichtenberg
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: urban fantasy, crime, mystery, police, lawyers, treasure hunt, zen, bank robbery, bank fraud, freegan, hippie, safety deposit box, dawn debris
Publisher: Tom Lichtenberg

Ship'n'Go

Ben thought about another way to get something out of Marcus. This time not so sneaky, he decided. This time not so subtle. Still it took him time to find the objects he required. A tiny tin yellow hot wheels VW van. One of those rubber-band-propelled balsa wood airplane kits. Three blue cats-eye marbles. A photograph of an old green army tent, barely held up by its poles, and with that, a swatch of an old bandanna soaked in deet. All of these things he carefully packed in separate little boxes, surrounded by bubble wrap and taped with masking tape. All of them together he placed in one big box and left it, again, outside of Marcus' door. He wrote on the parcel, in black magic marker:

"Happy Pontoon Days"

When he got home he was confronted by Gloria and a woman he'd never seen before. She was short, skinny, sporting a crew-cut and military fatigues, complete with shiny combat boots.

"Dawn Debris,” she introduced herself, holding out her hand. Ben took it and looked questioningly at his wife.

"Where have you been?" she demanded. She had rushed home to get there first to brief him on the story, and fuck, he wasn't there. He was always there! Every day, after work, he comes straight home from the goddamn Ship'n'Go, six o'clock on the dot he's there asking "what's for dinner?" as if he didn't know how to stick a box into the microwave himself.

"Something I had to do,” he told her as she grabbed him by the arm and told the lady they'd be right back and marched him straight into the bathroom where she slammed the door behind them.

"This is the private eye I was telling you about,” she said.

"You didn't tell me about a," Ben began to say, but Gloria stopped him.

"Listen up,” she said, "and listen good. I am only going to say this once. Your father left a locker, right?"

"Lock box,” Ben said.

"Ssssh!" Gloria put her hand over his mouth, "I said listen, not talk! So we are supposed to have a ceremony on the 30th anniversary of his death but we need the key for the ceremony and we don't fucking have it, right?"

"Right,” Ben muffled through her palm. "We don't have it."

"So she is going to find it for us,” Gloria said, "but she's some kind of weirdo who won't go find a damn thing if she gets a whiff that the thing in question is worth any kind of money, you got it?"

"No idea what you're talking about,” Ben thought, but he just nodded instead.

"Okay,” Gloria pulled her hand away. "Now do not fuck this up!” and she opened the door and pushed him back into the living room, where Dawn was standing just outside. Dawn smiled.

"Please to meet ya" she said.

"Likewise,” Ben replied, "Gloria tells me you're some kind of private eye,”

"Some kind,” she said, "don't know exactly what kind but yep, some kind for sure,”

"Would you like to sit down?" Ben asked, suddenly becoming

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